Cut! Next scene:

After a person earns their Master of Arts in Writing, what do they do next? They go to Barbering School!
This blog once hosted my thesis(for its namesake), which I have taken down due to a lack of interest and will gladly send to any interested party, but now I will be using it to document my journey in becoming a barber, and hopefully, eventually, the owner of a barbershop with red and white checkered tiles, an old school jukebox playing Social Distortion, posters of cars and concerts and women, and a complimentary beer cooler. I'd call it a rockabilly barber shop, but aren't they all? Maybe what will make my store unique is that the coffee table will support literary journals as well as Playboys.
So, if you've been shaving your head, let it grow, and in a year, you can be my first customer. It will be exciting for both of us.
My friends will laugh at this.(It's funny because it's true). My enemies will laugh and point. Those who don't know me are probably laughing too, but laughing the way one does when they don't get the joke.
Here's the punchline: the last story I published was in a journal that didn't have the funds available to even send me a contributor's copy, I've applied all over for copy writing jobs and have hit nothing but dead ends, and unlike a lot of my peers, I have no desire to be in the teaching racket.
As much as I would like to go back to school for an Art degree, I am confident that it would lead me to where I am now: overqualified for any menial job, and without experience in an overcrowded world filled with talented people with the same degrees from fancier schools. And on a quick aside, don't you find it ironic that the government keeps raising the age for retirement, forcing people to work longer and making it harder for young talent to find positions?
My family wants to know how this idea came about. Honestly, I don't know. The job requires creative talent. I'm personable and like meeting new people. And I want a job that I can take anywhere, will always have a market, and isn't horribly strenuous. Maybe I like the idea of being on a career path in nine months. Maybe I like the idea of deferring my student loans for nine months. Maybe it's in my blood. My grandmother retired as the instructor at the beauty school here in Grand Junction.
This brings me to the first obstacle in my journey: finding a school. The only Barber Schools in Colorado are in the Denver area. As much as I want to move, it will be a real challenge since I've been un-employed for the last eight months, minus my stint as a vacuum salesman that ended up costing me money. Hoorah! At least you can probably all agree by now that I'm open minded.
I've narrowed my choices down to two schools: Bull Locks, and Emily Griffith Opportunity School. The names say it all. Bull Locks is the "new school" and Emily Griffith is the established school. If I am biased one way or the other, there is something to be said about longevity. Both cost about the same. The one thing that carries the most weight with me is word of mouth. After graduate school, I learned the importance of talking to people in the program, so I started calling around.
I started by calling local barber shops. I only mention this because I have a rant. Surprise, right? Well, I won't mention the name of this new shop in town that is exclusively for men, but when I called, I was told that the owner wasn't even licensed to cut hair, and nobody there was actually a barber, they were all female "cosmologists." Does this sound like the America you live in? God, I hope to be a part of the resurrection of the good things of the past.
After this call, I called some shops in the Denver area and talked to some really friendly, helpful guys. None of them had heard of Bull Locks. Not surprising, they're new, so that's cool, but some of the guys I talked to who were really encouraging told me that they graduated from Emily Griffith.
I've called Emily Griffith and talked to one of the instructors. Mostly, I asked if some idiot who holds a degree in Writing and has only given mohawks in the kitchen to his miscreant friends could keep pace in the class. She was very accommodating and ensured me that she was there to watch over people like me. (I wonder if I can talk her into following me to the bar).
I still haven't been able to get hold of anybody at Bull Locks. Tomorrow, I'll try them again, but I will be moving forward with Emily Griffith by talking to them about what steps I should take next, financial aid, and possible scholarships.
Now, I will close by attempting something pithy:
Education may lead to knowledge, but knowledge doesn't necessarily lead an education, not all knowledge is practical, and more schooling might lead to your understanding that you need more school, but more school doesn't necessarily lead to an education that will lead to a job that requires knowledge.